A time to dance..............

It has been a roller coaster couple of weeks for a number of reasons, which meant I never got to post about something to celebrate in the midst of quite a lot of sadness and anxiety.

Two weekends ago we travelled north to West Auckland for the wedding of Sophie and John. It was a family affair, Lara did Sophie's hair, Sumaiyah was bridesmaid and I had the great honour of signing the register and doing the "father of the bride" speech.

Throughout the weekend whenever Ravi would get a call from a friend he would explain we were at a family wedding. Like many young people I have worked with over the years, Sophie has become part of the family. This means a lot to me, that my children never saw any of my relationships outside our blood family as a threat. On one occasion, when Lara was doing a Saturday job in a local hairdresser's this had amusing consequences. Another young woman whose own mother had died but had always seen me as another mum, had her first baby. Lara had obviously been talking to a elderly woman whose nails she was doing about this. When I arrived to collect Lara to visit Rosalyn and the baby she beamed at me "Congratulations!" she said - I asked if she thought I was a grandmother, which she did, Lara had told her her sister had just given birth. I tried to explain that Rosalyn wasn't my real daughter, I had young people across Bedford who regarded me as a second mum, but the poor woman became more confused, "so is Lara your real daughter?" she asked!

So Sophie's wedding was a great blessing to me and a reminder of why I regard youth work as so important. She had a very difficult time during her teenage years, but my commitment to her was never based on "targets" and didn't evaporate when she moved away and I changed jobs. In the sixteen years I have known her there have been times when she has needed my support on a daily basis, then there have been months when we haven't spoken.

She has met and married a lovely young man and I find myself feeling rather like the contented mother that she is settled and secure and embarking upon a wonderful future with him. And she is a reminder to me that there are so many young people out there who, with the right support and encouragement, at the right time, will overcome any challenge. Certainly a great excuse to dance!

I love these pix!

Just got these lovely pix of Lara's 21st, here with Ravi (not often I get a pic of him!)

...............................and here with partner Nafis, cousins Scott, Haley and Kirith and Ravi.

Happy Christmas...............anyone free to come help wrapping pressies?

Oh dear, it is gone 2 am on Christmas morning and I am procrastinating about the million pressies I still have to wrap, thus blogging is a shameful distraction! My normal pattern on Christmas Eve is to promise to go to Midnight Mass - then realise I am not going to get wrapped in time and pull out, listening to the radio or TV version whilst wrestling with the blessed sellotape! I rarely finish before 3 and in the days when my darlings got up at 5 (or earlier) this meant Christmas Day was somewhat of a struggle. In those days I would tiptoe into their bedrooms, willing them not to wake.

This evening my daughter Lara (who turned 21 on Wednesday and now has a daughter of her own, Sumaiyah) and I were reminiscing. About the time her brother Ravi (aged about 6), determined to "catch" Santa. He laid a trap. He used a whole roll of that blessed sellotape and sellotaped his Christmas "sack" (where Santa was supposed to deposit his pressies) to his head, presumably thinking that when said pressies were deposited it would wake him up. He also piled all his most noisy toys up under the door handle so that when I turned it they all came tumbling down! Lara was trying to convey the magic of her childhood belief in Santa to her Muslim partner Nafis who celebrated Christmas with us for the first time last year. Ravi, in the background, was bemoaning the fact it was all her fault he stopped believing in the first place!

Anyway, it has all gone a bit differently this year. Lara, Sumaiyah and I went to Luton for a Christmas service at my family church where my brother and two of my nieces were taking part. On the way home we made a detour to try and buy Halal chicken so that Nafis has something to eat tomorrow, but everywhere was closed and we arrived home a tad late. So, as I settled down to..............er...........not wrapping (!) I got a call from my favourite Tory boy Andrew McConnell who has apparently incurred the wrath of a Labour Transport minister. He promised to save me a seat at St Paul's for Midnight Mass, though he was a bit fed up as he has done this before and I haven't materialised.

But, I dutifully left home at the prescribed time, I walked along the glorious embankment, was in sight of St Paul's when my phone rang. "Mum, where are you?" "On the embankment" "I've forgotten my key can you meet me back home?" Why am I such a soft touch?! But, I made it, in time. And it was a really lovely service, I had intended to head straight home and wrapping but Andrew asked if I would go for a quick drink with him, I hesitated........... Later, as I walked home I passed our Polish Church St Cuthbert's(actually my nearest) at about 1.15 (their service is clearly a lot longer than ours!) as they were leaving, the place was overflowing.

So, here I am, still procrastinating..........

Haley's Pix

Just got these pix from niece Haley who is on a round the world tour with her partner Lawrence......they have now reached Australia. Posting here to make it easier for friends and family to view.....and to make myself jealous!

Families............who'd 'av 'em!

I am just back from my Dad's 78th birthday lunch. Not everyone could make it, but it was very nice, even if we had to wait over an hour for our food! My Dad thought it was hilarious that he had spent most of the day believing it was his 77th birthday, I didn't think that was much of a problem, better 77 than 79! But, it hits home how that thief of time ultimately robs all of us of our health, our faculties et al.



My Dad has always been the cleverest man I know and to see him suffering the effects of ageing is quite painful. He had what the doctors think may have been a mini stroke in the summer and since then he hasn't ever been quite the same. He no longer reads (something he has always done veraciously, I have lost count for example how many times he has read Pepys and all Churchill's works), he has false memories, particularly of the time when he was in hospital in the summer when he is still convinced his food was served up in glass tubes and that his sister was writing to the hospital regularly to let them know what his heartbeat was! But the upside is, that, having been a manic depressive since I can remember, he now seems to be far more outgoing. Today he was talking about taking a trip out to Paddington (where he was born) and visiting all his old haunts, something he would never have done before. We were also discussing student debt and how abhorrent it was that students were having to pay for their education, he looked a little wistful, he was one of those working class lads who in his day made the grade to be able to go to university but whose family couldn't afford to send him.


During the meal the family were discussing my daughter Lara, how she is old beyond her years and everyone seems to look to her to resolve problems. My mum commented on how beautiful she was too. I agree, (of course I'm her mum) recounting the story of when she had visited my office just before Christmas and someone had commented on how lovely she was. I had retorted that no one ever says "she must get it from her mum!" To which my darling mum replied "Well you have other qualities dear." As I said.......families, who'd 'av 'em!

Here's one for my pals - into doting granny mode!

Just to prove I do have a life which goes beyond politics.......my sister in law just sent me this lovely pic of my daughter Lara and granddaughter Sumaiyah (who is named after the first Muslim martyr.....lets hope she follows after her in name only!) I have been struggling with sorting out pix in picasa etc and have reached the limits of my understanding....

Sumaiyah means little arrow, so I hope she will grow up to be just that, fighting for what is right. Her mother, who I have yet to persuade to join the Lib Dems, but whose partner attended Ming's reception last week, sets a good example. Leading her whole school out in protest at the Iraq war - and then speaking at the anti-war People's Assembly in Westminster Central Hall. So.....I have high hopes! Oh.......and by the way........I have drawn the line at being called Granny. I will be Archi - the Sinhalese for grandmother and a lot more ambiguous for those who do not speak Sinhalese!